


In need of a big hug

by LounaLouise



Category: SK8 the Infinity (Anime)
Genre: Angry Kyan Reki, Because I couldn't handle it, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode 6 was catfish and I'm not forgiving, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hugs, I'm so mad and sad, JUST HUG PLS, M/M, Scared Kyan Reki, Soft Hasegawa Langa, WHY DON'T PEOPLE EVER TALK THINGS THROUGH, let them be happy, sort of a rewrite, spoilers for episode 7
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:49:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29592381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LounaLouise/pseuds/LounaLouise
Summary: Reki and Langa aren't in the same league anymore, and it hurts. It hurts bad, especially when Langa, worried, confronts Reki about his behaviour of the last couple of days. Reki doesn't want to hear it.*OS from the end of ep. 7 because I don't see the point of angst if there's no fluff to make up for it* *Take notes studio Bones I don't want a Banana Fish 2.0, no, no, no*
Relationships: Hasegawa Langa/Kyan Reki
Comments: 22
Kudos: 231





	In need of a big hug

Reki is soaking wet. “You and Adam are nothing like me,” he says and it burns his throat.

“Huh?” Langa’s hair has been absorbing the rain and is dripping. Reki feels the throb of his heart as if he had it in his own hands. It beats heavily, steadily. He’s taken his resolve. He’s finally understood Langa hurts him. His very existence is acute pain in Reki’s life and passion, and he can’t stand it anymore. He has to cut their ties now otherwise the poison is going to reach his heart and by then it will be too late for sanity.

“Do whatever you like,” Reki says. He doesn’t mean it. He wants Langa to say he won’t participate in the tournament. He wants Langa to realise how toxic Adam is, and how much pain Reki is under since that man showed up. He’s terrified. “You crazy geniuses can skate with each other as much as you want.” He turns around. He walks away. “I can’t keep up.” It’s no use. Reki was always average, and today he got a reality check that he isn’t going to improve. He can’t keep Langa safe.

It isn’t technically a breakup, but it feels like one. Reki’s heart aches so bad it takes all the energy he has to put one feet in front of the other. Langa is not moving. He’s staying under the light, watching him go, barely whispering his name. Langa that he took under his wing only a few months ago. Langa that he introduced to skating. Langa that he taught. Langa that he let in. Why does it end up like this? Reki hasn’t loved someone this hard.

“Reki!” Langa calls.

Reki feels his knees drop under his weight. He scratches his hands. They’re shaking he realises. He’s dropped his skateboard and it’s rolling downhill. Figures, Fate sure has a cheap sense of humour.

Reki doesn’t try to get back up. Instead he lets the rain slide onto his face and neck, eyes closed. And then the crying comes. It isn’t hidden by the rain at all; Reki is barely breathing, he’s screaming and shutting everything out. He hears Langa skate past him and coming back running. He went to fetch Reki’s board, but Reki is barely aware of it. His senses are dull. He hears everything but he doesn’t react to the information anymore.

“Reki!” Langa yells at him. “Talk to me, what’s wrong?”

He touches him. As if struck by lightning, Reki jumps back and hides his face in his knees. His shoulders are shaking so hard it hurts to stay in the position but it’s still better than looking at Langa at all.

“Reki, you have to tell me what is going on. I can’t help you if you don’t…”

“Help me?!” Reki’s voice fuses under his arms. He didn’t control that.

“Reki?”

“I…” his voice breaks under the weight of tears. When he speaks again it’s blurred and shattered. “Not long ago, I was the one helping you. And now you are so much better than me. You are so far ahead, in such little time, that I…” Reki hits his head against the knee. “Focus Reki!” he screams. It hurts. “You promised you wouldn’t go against Adam again! You promised me. And now you’re not only leaving me behind, but breaking that promise and risking everything. For what?”

“He’s…”

“He’s an amazing skater! I know that!”

“Reki…”

Reki’s fists are pressed on his eyes. He needs to stop crying now, that’s enough. But his body feels otherwise. He can’t stop the trembling. Nor can he regulate his tears, and even less look at Langa. Or towards him at all. He feels him close however, but Langa won’t try to touch him again after the clear rejection. Only, now, Reki wants Langa to touch him. He wants to touch him in return, just like they used to. Reki wants to go back in time, if only for a few weeks when the gap between them wasn’t so obvious. When they matched. When they belonged together on the same stage.

“I’m terrified, why can’t you acknowledge that and act accordingly!”

“Reki, I’m not going to live my life according to you and your feelings.”

Langa has spoken, and it’s not the words Reki wanted to hear. Langa was supposed to say something else. Anything else.

“What?”

“I can’t live by another person’s standards. I know I made you that promise, but also that I’ve been wanting to break it. I’m sorry, I should have been honest from the get-go. It seems…”

“Don’t say it!” Reki jumps forward and puts his hands on Langa’s mouth. “If you say it, it becomes real. Don’t talk anymore.”

They’re close now. Reki sees that Langa is crying too. He takes Reki’s hands off, gently.

“I don’t want to lose what we have,” Langa’s voice breaks in turn. Tears are flowing from his pale eyes and it destroys what is left of Reki.

“Langa…”

“Please don’t hate me for it.”

Reki’s pain is overflowing. It stings every bit of soul Reki has to offer.

“I don’t…” Reki gets a grip on his voice. “I could never hate you. It’s just that I’m no one, and you’re so… bright. All the time. And Adam is truly dangerous, and I’m worried for you! I don’t want you to end up in a hospital. How is endangering your health worth the… the thrill of skating against someone like him! I don’t get it, I don’t understand, please Langa, please, I’m begging, don’t go.”

“I’m not going to quit skating, no matter what happens, Reki. Don’t worry. I’ll always be there for you, as I know you will for me. I…”

“How can you say it like that! I’m not scared you’re going to leave I’m…”

“Aren’t you?”

The rain gradually stops. Reki is still shaking, but now mostly from the cold and rage.

“What do you know of me? Nothing. I’m not scared you’re leaving, I was fine before I met you.”

“I’m trying to empathise here! Stop being so difficult!”

“Empathise? Really. That’s how it is.” Reki gets back up and snatches his skateboard from Langa’s hands. “I don’t need pity, Langa. I need you to open your eyes and prioritise. I can see it, your thirst for more. It’s clear now. How far are you going to go to satisfy it? Can you ever be quenched? What if you cross a line you shouldn’t and I have to bring your corpse back to your mother! If not for me, what of her!”

“I’m not going to die because I want to get better at skating Reki.”

“It happens all the time Langa! Check the news a little! Check yourself! You were almost run over by a truck once! You skate at dangerous speeds already, and jump so high a bad landing could wound you gravely. Skating isn’t only fun! It’s a dangerous sport and you’re opening doors you shouldn’t. Where’s your sense of self-preservation? Are you that numb to your own survival instincts? Is it because your father died?”

The warmth in Langa’s eyes drop to freezing cold. “Don’t talk of my father.”

“Fine. I don’t want to lose you either, but I am.” Langa blinks in surprise. “Not only that,” Reki continues, “but it’s as if you’re spitting in my face how bad I am at my own sport. I can’t stand it Langa.”

“But you’re amazing at skating!”

“No! I’m not! I’m average if not worst! I’m not a genius like you, I don’t progress the way you do, I can’t ever make it to serious competitions, so no, I’m not good at skateboarding.”

Reki’s tears have dried. He’s angry now but the pain is still here. It’s burning inside him like fuel, and the more hits he lands, the less overwhelming it feels.

“You’re forgetting something crucial,” Langa says, planting a determined gaze into Reki’s. “Skating isn’t about numbers or other statistics, or who’s better than who. That’s to help ourselves get better. There will always be someone at the top, someone at the bottom, and a bunch of people in the middle. But before all of that got to your head, why did you skate Reki? I’ll tell you. Because it’s fun. Because it feels good to have the wind blast into your face and the wheels roll on the ground.”

“It can’t be fun if you become so injured you can’t practice anymore.”

“That’s not going to happen.”

“You can’t know that. Especially because you’ve skated with Adam before, you know how plausible it is that you’ll get hurt. Don’t take the risk. Stay.”

“I can’t do that, Reki.”

“Then let me go.”

“I can’t do that either.”

“I won’t watch you destroy yourself for ambition!”

“I want it. I’m going to do it. Please support me.”

Reki feels the tears resurfacing, but this time they’re of powerlessness. Langa is slipping away from him. Whatever it was that they had, it’s gone. It can’t ever be again.

He crawls back to Langa and before he knows it, throws his arms around him and squeezes.

“Don’t leave me behind.”

Langa hugs him back.

**Author's Note:**

> I left the ending open in an effort of making the scene as canon as possible in case we all need the comfort for later  
> I wasn't planning on writing anything about them, but I might just open up a word document more often now that my fears are confirmed about this anime; I'm not emotionally ready for what they're hinting will follow


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